PRACTICE

Practicing being aware of my feelings, digging out the roots and freeing up the soil.
Truly realizing where my emotions are coming from and freeing others from the blame and realizing that it is my thoughts of the situations that keep me stuck where I am. They may not have "done me right" but I am doing myself in by not seeing that by not letting go I am keeping myself in limbo. Seeing my own involvement emotionally in what ever happen and forgiving myself for whatever is keeping me stuck so I can let it go.
What is keeping me stuck? Is it that my dad told me that I would never be able to follow through and make good on anything? Does every time I have quit at something go back to this or does it go back further? Was the thought there before he said it? If it wasn't why did I believe it? If I follow through from the last chapter that we come to this earth with the thoughts that need to be healed and pick our parents to bring up and then enable us to heal those thoughts then my dad saying that was just the first situation to bring up a reason I was here to heal. My dad did not cause my thoughts. He gave me awareness of a healing that I need to do. If I did not already believe it I would not have been affected by it. He was only bringing up what I needed to heal...
So no more blaming my dad for doing his purpose towards my healing. Whatever his behavior mirrored off from me to him was his to learn and not mine to blame. As for me, its taken me many years to realize that I need to start being aware that I have a thought that I will fail and that means I can not follow through. For me, a lesson to practice... follow through. Continue this blog, read on and in other areas of my life such as weight loss, exercise and creative work become aware when the thought comes that I might as well give in since I will fail anyways. To heal that thought by repeating the now mantra of many, "YES I CAN."