“Life is either resistance or surrender… Resistance is the decision to act alone. Surrender is the decision to act with God.”This is a very deep chapter for me. Those three sentences were to me the essence. Ruiz in his “Four Agreements” wrote that we are to have no expectations. In Interpretation, Ferrini explains why. Expectations really set us up for correction. Sooner or later our beliefs and emotions will be bruised by expectations not being met. This is a sign that we need to make a correction. Experiences are not there to meet our expectations. They are there to expand our awareness. When that is not happening to the fullest we will be given a jolt to make us aware that we need to correct. What we consider failure, error or disappointment are only jolts to lead us back to the path leading to the walk with God and away from the walk alone.Ferrini goes on about how we can talk our selves into anything. We can take the truth and invert it to believe we are right, that others are to blame, that the way has been shut off to us, but we are not changing the truth we are only successfully hiding it from ourselves. Every experience we are given is an opportunity for each of us to reject the illusion we have created and to embrace the truth.He ends by saying that there is no time table for our learning only that it is happening. It can not be forced or stopped. We only have to trust that it is happening and that the Divine Mind within us is working.Relating this chapter to my recent history I realize that it wasn’t until I stopped fighting the fact that the relationship with another had ended that I realized it still existed. The form had changed. We were no longer physically close which had caused many obstacles that neither of us seemed able at the time to cross, but the spiritual link still exists. I feel his closeness more than I did when he physically was within touch. I can now re-look at us and let the lessons he shows me that I need to learn appear from our time together and our time now through emails and a connection within. Nothing is loss; all is gain.
Two sentences come to mind that sum up this chapter: “Love your brother as you love yourself” and “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” Both well known and easily understood on one level but on a deeper level so hard to carry out because to do either I must first love myself. For how can I love or do onto another as I would like until I know what that is?It is becoming clear in this chapter that to forgive another is to clear the way for me to let go of all the trash and forgive myself. However I treat another, I treat myself. Every look at the brother is a look into my own reflection.So, how do I treat that brother and in the end treat myself? I bless him, en joy his time with me, realize that I am not here to fix him but only myself. If he asks for help, I let him work beside me but if he wishes to leave I wish him well. Let him go freely and while he stays treat him as an equal. Equality is not easy. It is easier to blame or put him on a pedestal. Equality means to accept what he freely gives and give what I am feel free to give without a sacrifice for either of us. In this world this is not an easy chapter. But then I am not reading this to stay a part of this world but to help bring about the world that is possible if I allow myself to think with my Higher Source or the Christ mind.
Practicing being aware of my feelings, digging out the roots and freeing up the soil. Truly realizing where my emotions are coming from and freeing others from the blame and realizing that it is my thoughts of the situations that keep me stuck where I am. They may not have "done me right" but I am doing myself in by not seeing that by not letting go I am keeping myself in limbo. Seeing my own involvement emotionally in what ever happen and forgiving myself for whatever is keeping me stuck so I can let it go. What is keeping me stuck? Is it that my dad told me that I would never be able to follow through and make good on anything? Does every time I have quit at something go back to this or does it go back further? Was the thought there before he said it? If it wasn't why did I believe it? If I follow through from the last chapter that we come to this earth with the thoughts that need to be healed and pick our parents to bring up and then enable us to heal those thoughts then my dad saying that was just the first situation to bring up a reason I was here to heal. My dad did not cause my thoughts. He gave me awareness of a healing that I need to do. If I did not already believe it I would not have been affected by it. He was only bringing up what I needed to heal... So no more blaming my dad for doing his purpose towards my healing. Whatever his behavior mirrored off from me to him was his to learn and not mine to blame. As for me, its taken me many years to realize that I need to start being aware that I have a thought that I will fail and that means I can not follow through. For me, a lesson to practice... follow through. Continue this blog, read on and in other areas of my life such as weight loss, exercise and creative work become aware when the thought comes that I might as well give in since I will fail anyways. To heal that thought by repeating the now mantra of many, "YES I CAN."
I've spent days rereading this chapter to be able to write something of value. This morning I wrote in my handwritten journal and feel ready. I have read and heard before that we are here to work through our wounds and heal. Reading today I focused in on the words and realized that the author is saying that those wounds were brought into this world by us to heal, not received here. We came into the families that we have, found the friends and enemies we have and lived our lives as we have because we need to bring up wounds that help us find the thoughts that we were born into this life with to heal. It makes more sense than being randomly born into a family and situations that give us pain and suffering or even joy. Why else do the people we find surrounding us bring up the same emotional issues that we feel were given by our parents? In my last relationship, I remember calling Bobby "Esther" because he reminded me of my mother. Of course he did, I needed to heal. With this deeper realization that it wasn't Esther I needed to heal from but that Esther was given to me as my mother because I already was born with these thoughts life takes on a whole new reason. Everything and everyone I have ever spent time with was given to me to learn my earthly lessons. Everything that has and will happen to me has a reason and that is to heal myself. We are blessed in relationships that when two or more meet they get to mirror off each other and learn from that experience. Blaming others when our response is negative is a waste of time. We are meant to take our lessons and let them take theirs. In other words, the thought did come first and the situations are given to return the thought to love or as God thinks. The author talks about judging and condemning others and that condemning only reinforces guilt and stands in the way of healing. I don't take this as a get out of jail free card. There are people who need to be put away from others for the safety of all. It's how we need to change our thoughts about these people. They are our brothers and sisters and it is their thoughts that are in need of change. Basically I see it as fear, anger, hate being their thoughts and it is their purpose to change those thoughts to forgiveness and love. We can jail them for their behavior while not condemning them as worthless. The thoughts they have are leading them to the decisions they make and if we reinforce those thoughts they will only deepen their own worthlessness. The change has to be to get through to them and have them see that they are worthy. We are what we believe. Our purpose in helping our brothers is to respond by seeing them as our brothers and helping them undo their errors. "To be right make right." Not by preaching right to them but by treating them right and showing them by our thoughts that all matter. We have created God in our image and that image is one of fear, anger, judgment... Our purpose here is to return to God and once again see that we are created in God's image and that is one of love. God never abandoned us, we have looked away and created without him. Our reason to be here now is to return to God and create with God not apart on our own. Moving on to the next Chapter with a deeper understanding of where I am going...
Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini is in his own words "Reflections of the Christ Mind." It was given to me by my friend, Bob, the man I wrote about in my karma post. He gave this to me back in 1999 with these words written on the back of the front cover. "Vicki... Most answers are in the heart... May this book provide keys to unlock many doors. Bob '99" I am going to read and and blog my thoughts per chapter in the hopes that I will unlock doors for myself and help provide keys for some others. Introduction: The intro alone could be a mini book. The last sentence: "No one on earth has a better answer for you than the one you will find through trust in yourself and in me." Responsibility for our thoughts and therefore our world is our own. What we believe we make so the origin of the thought is either of Holy Spirit/ Christ (or whatever name/ word works for you) or ego/ world. We are asked in this chapter to choose our thoughts wisely and if uncertain as to what to think to bring to Him our dilemma and give it to Him to answer. Only when asked will He answer which to me gives a clear message that most of the thoughts that wonder in and out of my head are not from the spirit side of my mind. Most of the time I trying to decide to listen or not as they bombard my space. I can already see that to "be clear in your own mind" will take many trips to the spiritual communication phone. "Mistakes are opportunities for learning." This is as true for me as it is for everyone else. Everyone has the right to learn and make their own mistakes. I am here to correct mine not yours, nor to judge you as I am not mistake free and my judgment is only a combination of what I have perceived and therefore colored by others and myself. I do not know what is best for you. I only know what has worked, has not worked or might work according to my thoughts which may or may not help you. I'm leaving this chapter with the desire to rid myself of my "unhelpful thoughts." I will do this by opening my communication with the Holy Spirit within myself that was given me for my Being. I beleive we can help each other since the truth is the truth always. With the help of what we have been offered by Christ we can find that truth not by molding our own using His words but by giving Him all beliefs we have learned and letting Him recycle them back and hearing Him.
There is now a waiting list at the Nest's outdoor cafe. It was a bit of cabin fever that drove me out one morning to purchase this feeder and seed. Waited days for a guest and then he brought the family including friends. Now there are all sorts of visitors. We are all, human and bird, peacefully awaiting spring.
This first solo hibernation has given me time to read, test my ability to get the most out of my stuff- recently watched "The Secret Life of Bees" via my computer onto my HDTV- and get to know myself better.
I'm deep into reading Paul Ferrini's "Love without Conditions." For all the study I have done on self, rereading this book at this time is opening my awareness. I can now say that there are many pockets within to open and spill the contents. I also can say that when asked to think of those I still have to forgive I came up blank. I have let go of blame. I and others have not always done the possible best but we have done the best we could at the moment. My challenge now is to better-up my moments. I do know where to go to find the best I can be. I have my Higher Source within to ask. In every instance, I only have to choose.
Celebrated my 60th year this week by turning the "new" 30. Thirty is a wonderful year for women... the whole decade is. We finally have put the teens behind and grown from the twenties to get some idea of who we are. Finally we can fly. I feel that 30 + 30 is the time of my life. I am 30 with a wisdom of 30 more. I am truly a butterfly in flight who feasts on the tastiest flowers and pollinate the lives of those I touch.
